He’s not so much a pro-race war, communist, open borders propaganda tool as just a jerk who likes to threaten people with machetes in bathrooms. But when am I going to get to use that title anyway?

From WSPA:

Landrum, SC — Greenville County Sheriff’s Deputies are investigating an overnight robbery.

They said a man with a machete held up the Celtic Tavern at 22349 Asheville Highway in Landrum around 2:30 a.m. Friday morning and took off with cash.

Deputies say the suspect was arrested in a gas station parking lot at the intersection of Highway 176 and Highway 14.

They say a Landrum police officer saw the suspect in a vehicle at the Hot Spot.

The officer approached the car and told the man inside to get out of the vehicle. The suspect ran.

Officers caught him, arrested him and took him back to the victim who told police he was the man who robbed them earlier.

Another criminal mastermind foiled by the being easy to identify and too dumb to lay low after committing a crime. He’s in Landrum getting charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, but they’re going to ship him to Greenville at some point so he can get charged with robbery and kidnapping. Maybe some of you jailhouse lawyer friends of Geisller want to clue him into the fact that if you pull a weapon on someone then make them move from one place to another cops will hit you with kidnapping charges.

Between claiming he’s innocent and a good guy of course.

No word yet if she was laughing while making her get away, throwing Moulson’s out the window while screaming about how much more civilized Canada is than the good old U.S of A. Now she’s going to jail where she (and most Canadians) belong:

Greenville County, SC — The South Carolina Highway Patrol arrested a woman they say hit a pedestrian and did not stop.

Troopers said the driver struck a 55-year-old man who was walking on U.S. 29 between Watson and Rutherford Roads around 10:00 on Sunday night.  At 1:10 a.m. Wednesday, investigators arrested 22-year-old Masako Uemura.

Troopers said she was from Canada but was living in Greenville. She is charged with leaving the scene of an accident resulting in great bodily injury.  Investigators have not released information on the victim’s condition.

Uemura’s bond was set at $75,000 at 9:30 a.m. Wednesday.

Unsurprising coming from a Canadian, since that accursed country is second only to the Carpathian mountains in it’s ability to produce twisted and depraved monsters. When will we close our borders that den of inequity we call Canada?

On a serious note, you know that Canadian student you met in college who went on incessantly about how violent and barbaric Americans are? I have it on good authority that Masako Uemura is that person.

Apparently there’s a lot of hit and runs these days which leads me to believe that there’s probably a lot of people with drugs in their car, since no one is going to get in trouble for an accident where a pedestrian is walking on a highway and gets clipped.

Take your hit and running ways back to Canada you Canuck bastards!

RAVELERS REST, S.C. — Greenville County deputies said that one person was arrested Wednesday after a chase ended in a crash in Travelers Rest.

Deputies said they tried to stop a yellow sedan whose driver appeared to be drunk around 5 a.m. They said the driver refused to stop and a chase ensued.

The driver headed to Travelers Rest, where local police joined in the pursuit.

The chase ended when the car crashed into an apartment building on Roe Road.

No one was hurt injured in the crash.

The driver’s name has not been released but there’s video at the link. It’s a yellow four door sedan with giant rims, or what I call a ghettomobile.

The shooter remains at large. News Channel 7 reports that “more detailed information about a suspect or suspects” will not be released until further investigation has been conducted by deputies.

The two people with injuries are expected to recover.

On New Year’s Day, we reported a shooting at Cora’s Social Club in which three individuals sustained gunshot wounds.  Much like Club Roka on South Pleasantburg Drive, Cora’s seems to attract thugs with itchy trigger fingers.

I’m not a fan of early morning trips to the ER (or possibly the Coroner’s Office), so I’ll be sticking to Wal-Mart and the Mickey Dee’s drive-thru for my late night entertainment needs.

A man who allegedly fled from the scene of a wreck yesterday was captured by Mauldin police today after a brief chase, authorities said.

The state Highway Patrol had asked the police department to check the man’s residence at Summer Wood Condominiums on Butler Road in Mauldin.

The subject ran from police but was apprehended late this morning and released to the Highway Patrol for further investigation, according to the Mauldin Police Department.

What a great plan. Commit a crime in the vehicle registered to you then hide in the house you are known to live in. He should have just left a note telling the cops he’d meet them at the county jail.

GREENVILLE, SC – The South Carolina Highway Patrol is trying to find a driver who they say left the scene after striking a pedestrian Thursday night in Greenville.

Troopers say Daniel Tejeda, 47, was hit on South Washington Avenue at 9:08pm. Tejeda – who is from Simpsonville – was transported to Greenville Hospital System.

His condition is not known.

Troopers say Tejeda was on the sidewalk when a northbound vehicle hit him, struck and a manhole cover and fence, then left the scene on U.S. Highway 123.

The vehicle was described as a white possibly older model car. It may be a 1980’s Lincoln Towncar or Continental. The SCHP says the car would have damage to the front.

There’s a video report at the link that has a surveillance photo of the car. If you have any information call Crime Stoppers at 23-CRIME.

Deputies had gotten a call just prior to the shooting that there was a fight inside the club.

All three victims ended up at Greenville Hospital.  Two drove themselves, one was driven by a friend.

The Sheriff’s Office says all three victims told investigators they did not know each other, nor the shooter.  Deputies say one victim told them the shooter was a “young, light skinned black male who had been thrown out of the club just prior to the incident.“

The three victims were treated for the following injuries:

A 21-year-old man was wounded in his left thigh and right ankle. A 25-year-old man was wounded in his left knee. A 27-year-old man was wounded in his right thigh and left ring finer.

Witnesses were unhelpful in providing a more detailed description of the shooter.

Police said the suspect swung a pair of scissors at a worker who tried to detain him for shoplifting at a Wal-Mart on 6134 White Horse Road, according to warrants. The suspect then forced a man from his silver 2004 Toyota Camry, a warrant said. Deputies pursued the suspect in a brief car chase before he crashed into a tree on Sumter Street, said Lt. Scott Wilson of the Greenville County Sherriff’s Office.

During the chase, Salter reportedly hit several vehicles. One person had to be hospitalized, deputies said.  WYFF4 spoke to witnesses at the scene:

Witnesses said police eventually used a Taser to subdue Salter.

“When he made the left, he couldn’t make it,” said Gary Stokes. “He skidded on rubber on one tire gone and went under the fence. I went out the back door and jumped the fence to see where he was while they were chasing him.”

Salter is being held at Greenville County Detention Center.  Inmate holds indicate he was wanted in connection with fraud involving Anderson County Bank and a shoplifting and assault in Greer. Charges pending as of 9:30 p.m. Saturday included forgery, two counts of armed robbery, possessing a weapon during a violent crime, shoplifting, trespassing, carjacking, driving under suspension, and failure to stop for a blue light.

Salter is expected back in court on Feb. 26, 2010.

News Channel 7 provided the following photos of the suspects:

The Sheriff’s Office Armed Robbery Unit is assigned to this case and has signed ten warrants on Downer charging him with three counts of Armed Robbery and Kidnapping, two counts of Assault with Intent to Kill, and one count each of Criminal Conspiracy and Possession of a Weapon during a Violent Crime. Warrants have also been issued for Mitchell charging her with three counts of Armed Robbery and Kidnapping, with one count of Criminal Conspiracy.

Frederick Downer and Cassandra Mitchell may be armed. If you have any information regarding their whereabouts, please contact the Greenville County Sheriff’s office or Crime Stoppers at 23-CRIME.

The chase started on West Blue Ridge Drive, near White Horse Road. According to a Sheriff’s Office spokesman, a car was stopped and a man jumped out and ran. The unidentified man has led police on a near three hour foot pursuit through the area and near the Woodside community.

A search perimeter was set up in the area near Arch Street between Pendleton Road and West Blue Ridge Drive, off White Horse Road, Fox Carolina reports. The search included Greenville County Sheriff’s deputies and K-9 units.

The suspect has not been identified and may be armed.

The search was called off before midnight.

Update, Dec. 15, 2009:

[Jerry Marsh, the driver of the vehicle, has been charged with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. His bond was set at $2,500.  The suspect still being sought by authorities is 18-year-old Frederick Downer of Greenville.  He is also suspected in the shooting that occurred Sunday on White Horse Road.]