Former Senate Candidate and Current Pervert Alvin Greene Avoids Jail

Most people remember Alvin Greene as the borderline retarded Senate candidate that embarrassed South Carolina Democrats by winning their primary and being handily defeated in the election. But for South Carolinians he’s also known as a creepy pervert who hangs around college computer labs, downloads porn and shows that porn to pretty co-eds. He then asks them to invite him to their room so they can get it on. As you could imagine this strategy has a low success rate.

It’s also illegal in these parts.

So Greene was arrested and was looking at a little jail time but now he’s cut a deal. Ladies you’ve been warned:

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) – Former U.S. Senate candidate Alvin Greene can enter a pretrial intervention program that will drop a misdemeanor obscenity charge against him as long as he completes community service and counseling, a prosecutor announced Monday.

Prosecutors also decided to drop a felony obscenity charge against the unemployed Army veteran, meaning Greene won’t face any time behind bars as long as he successfully finishes the program.

Reached at his Manning home, Greene said he was glad prosecutors are letting him enter the program, which he suggested was the best outcome for the case several times on the campaign trial, as he called for fairness in the justice system.

“This whole thing is ridiculous and should have never even got to this point,” Greene said. “Somebody’s just trying to run over me.”

He also again denied showing a pornographic picture to a University of South Carolina student at a campus computer lab.

“I’m denying it. This is all ridiculous I didn’t do that stuff,” Greene said.

Green said he hadn’t spoken to his lawyer said so he hadn’t made a final decision about whether to enter the program.

Yeah, I’m betting he’ll take the deal. That way he can run for President. No, really:

Greene ran for his local South Carolina House seat in a special election earlier this year and picked up less than 1 percent of the vote. He still hasn’t found a job and still lives with his ill father in their childhood home.

Greene is still thinking about a run for president. He spoke to a reporter about a spat between some South Carolina lawmakers and the governor about whether the governor could call legislators back into session this week and laughed when he was asked if he had got a job since the last election.

“The country can’t do without me because I am the man, “Greene said. “I was born to be president and I will be 35 right before the election.”

I don’t know whether to laugh of cry.


3 Responses to “Former Senate Candidate and Current Pervert Alvin Greene Avoids Jail”

  1. Former Senate Candidate and Current Pervert Alvin Greene Avoids … « Alvin Greene for Senate on June 9th, 2011 10:18 am

    [...] the rest here: Former Senate Candidate and Current Pervert Alvin Greene Avoids …   No [...]

  2. Loup Garou on June 9th, 2011 10:20 am

    Sure, but does he have his own Action figure? I think not.

  3. DodiaFae on June 10th, 2011 2:10 pm

    My first instinct is to laugh… hard. Then I start thinking about this and I’m grateful that it was college campuses and not high schools that he was hanging out at.

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