GD Recommends: Jon’s Pizza – The Best Pizzeria in the Upstate

Jon’s Pizza, which just opened on East Butler Rd, is quite simply the best pizza parlor I have ever had the privilege of eating at. Let me first start by explaining why I consider most of the pizza joints in this area to be slop shops not fit to feed to the goats who wonder into my sub-division from the farm next door from time to tome.

I was born and raised in New Jersey and attended high school in Manhattan. I lived in the Bronx and in Middletown, CT which had a large Italian population and was home to at least a dozen pizza and sandwich shops that served food you would think came out of your beloved grandmother’s kitchens. I know good pizza (and good sausage and pepper sandwiches, good calzones, good stromboli, good garlic knots, etc) and until Jon’s opened up you could not get any of that in Greenville County.

I once ate at a certain place on Woodruff which will remain nameless where the owner told me he was going to serve me the best cheese steak I’d ever had. If you’ve never had a good cheese steak from a pizza joint you have no idea what delicious means so I ordered one. He served me the same cheese steak you buy in a box at Costco.

Don’t even get me started on the local pizza chains.

So I thought I was doomed to eating at the various Pete’s which do fair approximations of cheese steaks. I had resigned myself to knowing that I would never again have a good New York slice, or enjoy the delicate interplay between melted cheese resting on perfectly cooked steak covered with shredded lettuce, tomato onion and banana peppers lightly doused with oil and vinegar. What the Old Testament refers to as Manna from heaven.

But then Jon’s Pizza opened up and I wept with joy after eating their steak and cheese. It was not just the best steak and cheese I had down here – it was the best steak and cheese sandwich I’ve ever had period. My wife, herself a connoisseur of pizza, has said that their cheese slice is perfect and well worth the $3 they cost each. But that’s because they’re basically the size of two slices elsewhere. The slices are also the best you can get here.

They also sell “hippy rolls” which is as authentic as stepping off a bus in (pre-90s) Canarsie and grabbing an after work cannoli.

Stop wasting your time at the other “pizza” joints in Greenville County. Their food might as well have been shipped here from China with the rest of their poisonous dog food. Jon’s Pizza is the real deal, outrageously good food at reasonable prices. It’s REAL pizza joint food not a bunch of overpriced Food Network inspired “cuisine” designed to appeal to people who have never eaten a slice with out a knife and a fork. Whole Foods crowds I’m looking at you.

You have to go to Jon’s and get one of their sandwiches. I mean, unless you just hate good food or are some sort of commie who hates small businesses. Again, Whole Foods crowds I’m looking at you.

I do not endorse many businesses but I am fully endorsing Jon’s Pizza and if some of you Internet tough guys who say you’re going to kick my ass want to find me it’s a good bet that I’ll probably be there, stuffing my face with steak and cheese sandwiches and garlic knots.

Jon’s is located at 1099 East Butler Road in Greenville, SC.

 

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