If You Don’t Want Your Son Going to Prison Don’t Name Him Dantevius

Just putting this out there but if you get “creative” with your kids names chances are you’re setting them up for a life of crime at best. A teen named Dantevius was one of three people picked up for robbing two Greenville banks and he wasn’t the only one with a stupid name:

Greenville County Sheriff’s deputies arrested a man and charged him with robbing two county banks Friday.

Greenville County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Matt Armstrong said that deputies arrested 17-year old Lafonzo Jabril Burnside, of Greenville, at Rocky Creek Apartment on Woodruff Road just after 8 pm Friday night. Burnside was later charged with two counts of armed robbery.

According to the Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to the CPM Federal Credit Union, located at 6709 White Horse Road, just before 5 pm Friday. When they arrived, they learned that a black male, later identified by witnesses as Burnside, had gone into the bank wearing a long black wig, white shirt, tan pants and sunglasses and brandished a black gun, later said to be a BB gun, to the teller and demanded cash.

[...]

Deputies have charged Charity Magdalene Burnside of Greenville with two counts of armed robbery.

Dantevius Lamar Bland was also charged with two counts of armed robbery. Both are being held at the Greenville County Detention Center.

Poor Dantevius was denied bond for some reason.

But really, Lafonzo? Dantevius? Charity is the only one with a half-way normal name and that name sounds like a day shifter from Platinum Plus. How about we start cranking out some Wiliams and Alberts?

Comments

6 Responses to “If You Don’t Want Your Son Going to Prison Don’t Name Him Dantevius”

  1. DodiaFae on February 6th, 2011 2:19 am

    Dantevius? Lafonzo?? Oh, good Lord…

  2. Ajax the Great on February 6th, 2011 1:45 pm

    I gotta admit, that’s a very odd name. One that rhymes with “devious”, no less. Reminds me of an alleged murderer in Yonkers (NY) named Thursday, whose younger brother’s name was Friday. You can’t make this stuff up!

  3. Loup Garou on February 7th, 2011 1:11 pm

    I get using cultural or historic family names for your kids, but when did mixing the dad and mom’s name together or just making sht up become ok? The people out in Hollywood are just as bad…

    The top 10 is:

    1 Moon Unit — Frank Zappa
    2 Apple — Chris Martin (Colplay)
    3 Misty Kyd — Sharleen Spiteri (Texas)
    4 Geronimo — Alex James (Blur)
    5 Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily — Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates
    6 Dandelion — Keith Richards (Rolling Stones)
    7 Dweezil — Frank Zappa
    8 Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q — Bono (U2)
    9 Zowie Bowie — David Bowie
    10 Rufus Tiger — Roger Taylor (Queen)

  4. Ajax the Great on February 9th, 2011 1:39 pm

    Yeah, those names are really unfortunate. How about that Australian couple that named their daughter, “Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii”, or the ignoramuses who name their kids things like “Chlamydia”, “Gonorrhea”, or “Nosmo King”.

  5. charity on November 14th, 2011 2:31 pm

    YOU ALL ARE COMPLETE ASS HOLES!!! THERE ISN’T ANYTHING WRONG WITH OUR NAMES. PLATINUM PLUS; UM NO SORRY! I AM A CNA AND HAVE BEEN FOR 8 YEARS NOW. I WOULD NEVER ROB A BANK OR TAKE ANYTHING FROM ANYONE, IVR ALWAYS WORKED TO PAY FOR WHAT I WANTED SINCE THE AGE 16 SO GET LOST!!!

  6. Rob Taylor on November 14th, 2011 3:05 pm

    Does “working” included aiding in armed robberies? Do most CNAs get arrested for stick ups?

    Typical thug nonsense. I was raised in an all-Black family in “Illtown” – East Orange, NJ. Guess what? Never been arrested even when I did have to handle my business. How’d that happen? I’m not a criminal.

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