Jorae Johnson Likes Attention … and Filing False Police Reports

Jorae Johnson needs a gimick to pull in the young studs

Jorae Johnson is a 52-year-old woman who hasn’t held up quite as well as living goddess/best selling author Raquel Welch or professional card sharp and well known Greenville Dragnet fan Jennifer Tilly. Not knocking Jorae Johnson, but she’s what’s known as a “hard” 52. This leaves her with not many options when she’s looking for some romance novel style action where a muscular policeman/fireman/Dark Hunter shows up to her door looking for some some middle age lovin’. She could try the classic mating dance of the hottie in the wild, as demonstrated by Raquel Welch:

But something tells me Jorae doesn’t think that would work, What would Jennifer Tilly do?

I wonder if I can get some blogger to work me into crime stories?

Tilly probably doesn’t need a gimmick. Especially not one like Jorae used – which was pretending Bank of America launched a bio-attack on her:

SIMPSONVILLE, S.C. — The woman who claimed to have received a powder-laced letter last week was charged Monday.

The incident happened at 705 Spring Lake Loop about 9 p.m. Thursday.

According to an incident report, 52-year-old Jorae Johnson, who lives at the home, said she opened a Bank of America envelope that she had received. She said that when she removed the letter inside and unfolded it, a brown and white powdery substance fell onto her hands. She said that she then started feeling a burning sensation on her hands.

The report said the hazmat team went inside the home and said that Johnson’s claim was unfounded and no powdery substance was found.

On Monday night, deputies said, Johnson was charged with reporting or giving false information to law enforcement. She was released on $2,000 bond.

Johnson’s claim shut down Spring Lake Loop for about an hour, deputies said.

I know it’s not politically correct to call people retarded these days but this scheme was retarded. Why would Bank of America send some hausfrau a poisonous package? Did she think people would just take her word for it even through there was no evidence?

Some people have been saying that this was actually a scheme by a moron to avoid paying her mortgage. But looking at those big blue eyes, bleached blond hair and alcohol bloated face I think she was looking for an excuse to throw herself into the arms of a hunky civil servant.

I’d say throw the book at her but since that would mean her getting cuffed by a cop she’d just enjoy it. Tramp.

Comments

4 Responses to “Jorae Johnson Likes Attention … and Filing False Police Reports”

  1. Marcia Moston on January 21st, 2011 3:45 pm

    Do think the defamation of character/ libel laws apply to blogs (if that’s what you call this) I will check. Slummy, slimy reporting.

  2. Rob Taylor on January 21st, 2011 4:13 pm

    It’s not defamation to comment on public arrests.

    But I take it you don’t think filing false police reports is “slummy” or slimy.

  3. Shane on April 1st, 2013 9:01 pm

    Rob — need to ask a favor from you as one professional to another. ?

    Please send me your email addy so I can explain !

    Thanks’

    Shane

  4. Rob Taylor on April 1st, 2013 9:12 pm

    Use the contact form it goes to my email.

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