Surprise! Registered Sex Offender Caught Masturbating in Public!

Reportedly has very small penis

That’s odd, I always heard sex offender registries were lists of people who got caught peeing on a tree or something. But in this case it looks like a literal pervert ended up on the registry. I know Libertarians, this blows your mind!

Greenwood City Police arrested 45-year old Sherman Keith Austin, of Greenwood, and charged him with indecent exposure.

According to an incident report, police officers were dispatched to Twin Oaks Apartments last Friday after a woman said she found Austin masturbating while he was sitting on the steps in front of an apartment. The woman told officers that she was inside an apartment and when she looked out, she saw Austin masturbating. A second person said they also saw Austin masturbating.

The report states that Austin told officers that he had to use the bathroom, but he was unable to get inside his apartment.

Oh, see he was just taking a piss when the Man came and hassled him. Sad really he was just peeing. While sitting down. And moving in such a way that two different people thought he was masturbating. Another innocent schmo victimized by our puritanical society, I’m sure.

Here’s his offender page from which I purloined that awesome photo. Nothing to exciting – basically a small timer, no pun intended.

The only thing I don’t understand is this – if you look out the window and there’s some pervert masturbating on your stoop why not dump a pan of boiling water on him? What’s he going to do have you arrested for stopping him from rubbing one out in public?

Comments

3 Responses to “Surprise! Registered Sex Offender Caught Masturbating in Public!”

  1. DodiaFae on April 26th, 2011 11:12 am

    The only thing I don’t understand is this – if you look out the window and there’s some pervert masturbating on your stoop why not dump a pan of boiling water on him? What’s he going to do have you arrested for stopping him from rubbing one out in public?

    Love that idea!

  2. loup garou on April 26th, 2011 4:29 pm

    It’s his and he can scratch it as fast or slow as he wants….. “I was just cleaning it and it went off” LMFAO!

  3. Rob Taylor on April 26th, 2011 4:32 pm

    Ha! His defense lawyer might use that.

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