Glenn David Elwood is a Pervert (and Goodwill has Great Security)
This is Glenn David Elwood of the Batesville Drive Elwoods. While most red blooded 27-year-olds are out picking up chicks or hitting the strip club Glenn – who i assume is a very busy man – has streamlined the process of satisfying his libido by taking care of his business while out shopping. At Goodwill.
Apparently Elwood was at the Goodwill on Haywood Rd when the mood struck him. And by mood I mean he spotted a woman in a skirt. Rather than wasting time striking out with said woman or wasting money tipping dancers Elwood ducked under a conveniently located table and used his cell phone to snap what he thought was surreptitious pics of the undercarriage of this Helen of Haywood, whose very beauty drives men mad. Pressed for time he began pleasuring himself to the pictures there rather than go all the way home to enjoy his ill-gotten visual booty. Perhaps he had other appointments.
Goodwill is, as you may know, not that sort of establishment. Workers saw the pervert and detained him for police. There’s no word on how much guff he’s taking in jail for being pinched by the staff of Goodwill.
Another odd note on this story – Greenville News hack Paul Alongi wrote up a report that was mostly in English. Maybe he does better work when he’s interested in the subject.
So … has Elwood not heard of the Internet?
Third Man Arrested in Wallace Cruell Murder
From The Greenville News, who don’t think reporter Paul Alongi’s work is worth putting behind their paywall:
A third man has been jailed in last week’s fatal shooting of a Travelers Rest man who authorities said might have walked in on three men robbing his mobile home.
Lamar Dontray Williams, 25, is charged in a warrant with murder in the Oct. 18 killing of Wallace Cruell, Jr., 36, in his home at 49 Valley Road.
[...]
Warrants allege that at least three men kicked in Cruell’s back door “with the intent to commit a crime” and fatally shot him. Also charged with murder are Scottie Lee Butler, 24, and Charles Jeffery Dornberg II, 22, according to warrants.
Deputies were called to the home at 7:49 a.m. and arrived to find a man with what appeared to be a gunshot wound, Smith said.
Investigators believe Cruell took his children to school and returned to find three men robbing his mobile home, Smith said.
There was a fight inside, and Cruell was shot, Smith said. The men left through a back door and are believed to have fled the area in a vehicle, he said.
It’s odd that police are claiming they don’t know the motive while stating that they think Cruell walked in on a robbery and a fight broke out. The motive was clearly the escalation of violence for degenerate thieves.
Greenville Deputy Stops Violent Robbers with Hot Lead! Greenville News Not Happy
Looks like the Greenville deputies bagged a couple of bad guys last night, although to read Paul Alongi’s version of the events on GreenvilleOnline you’d think the cops were trigger happy:
A man suspected of robbing a convenience store on Easley Bridge Road was shot twice tonight during a confrontation with a Greenville County sheriff’s deputy, authorities said.
He is expected to survive, said Lt. Shea Smith, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Office.
The man was one of two people suspected of robbing a Citgo convenience store at 784 Easley Bridge Road, Smith said.
A deputy on patrol was near the store when he saw two men wearing ski masks come out, Smith said, and chased them behind the store. That is where shots rang out, he said.
Both men got into a car which crashed a short distance away, Smith said.
Alongi left out an important detail in this shooting however:
GREENVILLE, S.C. — Greenville County deputies said that a man involved in a robbery on Tuesday night was shot, after he pulled a gun on the deputy.
Investigators said that two men robbed the Corner Mart on Easley Bridge Road, and got away with cash.
Officials said that a deputy saw the two masked men running to a getaway car near the Corner Mart. They said the deputy chased the pair, and shot the driver of that car. They said the driver and passenger crashed their car into a tree on West Street.
Both men were arrested.
Seems to me that a slight omission in a story can completely change what readers infer. Maybe Alongi doesn’t realize that his wording can lead people to believe that the cops just gunned down some possibly innocent suspects whereas the real story is that the thugs pulled a gun on the deputy.
Or maybe as usual The Greenville News has a political interest in painting the cops as jack booted fascists.
GreenvilleOnline.com: Gun Wielding Everyman Charmingly Bungles Two Armed Robberies
But he did get away with a red 2001 Ford Taurus. Unfortunately for Greenville County residents who want to be on the lookout for this everyman in a red 2001 Ford Taurus, Greenville News reporter Paul Alongi doesn’t think journalistic minutiae like a description of the criminal are worth his time. He also paints a picture of a puckish rogue who’s more a source of amusement than danger in some of the worst crime reporting I’ve seen in a long time:
Employees at two pay day lending stores near each other in Greenville told police on Tuesday that a gunman demanded money from them, but he ran into a problem.
Neither business had any cash on hand, officers wrote in incident reports.
[...]
The employee in first incident told police that the gunman said she was going to have to give him something, so she offered up the keys to her red 2001 Ford Taurus, an officer wrote.
[...]
The employee in the second incident told police that the gunman asked, “How do you give out loans if you don’t have any cash?” She told the gunman that the business gives out checks only, the officer wrote.
No injuries were reported.
Oh ho! Good spirited chicanery of the sort Robin Hood and his merry band of rapscallions would indulge in I’m sure.
News Channel 7 paints a somewhat different picture of the events, and provides readers with both a description and a picture:
According to incident reports, the first robbery was at First American Cash at 347 South Pleasantburg Drive in Greenville around 9:30 a.m. Tuesday.
The victim says, the man camed to the door when it was still locked, saying he needed a money gram.
She let him in, and he pulled out a gun and demanded money.
The suspect said, “Sorry sweetie I gotta do this.“
The victim opened the drawer to show him it was empty, but he told her she was going to have to give him something.
When the victim gave the suspect her keys he pointed the gun at her again and yelled for her to lay down flat on the floor.
So she didn’t merely offer up her keys to the man as an act of charity? Why that’s not what Paul Alongi said. And his report lacks the details that would make the gunman seem menacing. Interesting. The Channel 7 report continues:
The suspect is described as a black male, 25-30 years old, wearing a dark colored jacket with white trim.
On surveillance video he was wearing a black baseball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses.
Oh look! A description of the criminal. That will come in handy to anyone who might run into the suspect or know something. I guess The Greenvile News doesn’t think giving information to the community that the police think may help solve a crime is the job of their reporters.
And what about that delightful exchange with the second victim that Alongi makes sound like a scene from a sitcom? Here’s the way News Channel 7 lays it out:
The victim told him she did not have any cash at the business and she opened up the drawers to show him she did not have anything.
The subject said, “Well how do you give out loans if you don’t have any cash?“
The victim explained that they only give out checks.
The suspect got angry, told her to get down on the floor, and then left.
I imagine a woman being told to lie down on the floor by an angry gunman who wasn’t able to get what he wanted wouldn’t find the scene so delightful. But then again, I’m not a reporter for the The Greenville News.