Victimless Crime File: Attack of the Ouija Board!

Ouija boards have been popular since the Victorian era and Parker Brothers has been making them since I was a kid. They are mostly used as a party game though some religious sects, like Spiritualists and Sante Muerte cultists, often use them in rituals. Otherwise they’re really something people who get high a lot like to have around to scare themselves.

Which brings us to McAllen Texas, where a 15-year-old boy and his friends were playing with a Ouija board when a “spirit” told him to stab his friend. Which he did:

MCALLEN, TEXAS – A Texas teenager charged in the stabbing of his 14-year-old friend said a Ouija board told him to carry out the attack, police said on Friday.

The 15-year-old boy has been charged with attempted murder after stabbing his friend with a 4-inch knife on Feb. 29 in a wooded area behind a high school in Weslaco, a small town along the U.S.-Mexico border at the southern tip of Texas.

The victim was treated in intensive care for three days for a severe laceration to his intestine, Weslaco police spokesman J.P. Rodriguez said.

The alleged assailant, whose name was not made public, has no history of mental problems or criminal behavior, Rodriguez said.

“I’m not making excuses for the kid, but I think sometimes it’s harder for them to separate reality from fiction,” the police spokesman said. “This is kind of bizarre.”

After stabbing him, the boy took his friend to a nearby auto repair shop so the owner could call an ambulance, Rodriguez said.

A third boy said he witnessed the stabbing, and that his knife-wielding friend told the victim to say he fell on the blade.

Now call me Kreskin but I’m just going to assume that three teens hanging out together in the woods with a Ouija board were also getting drunk and high. Since drunk and high people do irrational things for irrational reasons (the whole purpose of getting high is to stop your mind from working normally) I think it’s safe to say that the voice he heard telling him to stab his friend was the ghost of marijuana past who didn’t like his friend Bogarting his weed.

But who knows? It could have happened like in classic Tawny Kitaen movie Witchboard. I mean, that’s just as likely right?

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