Victimless Crime File: Pot Legalization Advocate Wants to Kill and Eat Barack Obama

Wait ... what?

I’m not sure what his handle is on the NORML forums, but I’m hope it’s something like “supermunchie43″ because that would make this story perfect:

In January, career criminal Gregory Dale Brockman handed a letter to a psychologist at the state prison in Chester after he had been removed from his cell for threatening to kill his cell mate, federal prosecutors said yesterday in a court filing.

Authorities there contacted the U.S. Secret Service after they saw the letter.

Brockman, 32, formerly of Lehighton, Carbon County, said in the letter that he planned to kill President Obama, sexually assault first lady Michelle Obama, then “skin her alive,” according to court papers.

He also described how he would kill Obama. Afterward, he planned to “cut [Obama's] meat from his bones and put them in the oven,” then “sit down at the table and start eating,” the court filing said.

Brockman allegedly told federal agents during an interview in February that he was fascinated by serial killers and especially identified with Jeffrey Dahmer, who murdered 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991 and cannibalized some of his victims.

A tall, balding man with glasses and a beard, Brockman was serving a 3-to-10-year sentence in state prison for a 2007 burglary conviction when he was indicted last month for threatening to kill the president, the first lady and former President George W. Bush.

He appeared before U.S. Magistrate David Strawbridge yesterday, pleaded not guilty to the charges and was ordered held for trial. If convicted of all charges, Brockman could face 51 to 63 months in a federal lockup.

Brockman has a 2008 conviction for threatening Bush.

In July 2008, he pleaded guilty in federal court in Scranton to threatening Bush and was sentenced to 30 months in a federal pen in October 2008.

Talk about not learning your lesson. But how does a guy go from a Bush hating loon to a wanting to eat Obama loon anyway?

Court papers said Brockman wrote the letters because he was “agitated” with Obama after reading a newspaper article about the deaths of nine Americans in Iraq. The article also reportedly said Obama intended to send additional troops to Afghanistan.

Brockman was allegedly distressed that the U.S. was spending money abroad and not helping Americans at home. He thought about killing Obama and his family and jotted the thoughts down on paper to calm himself, prosecutors said.

[...]

Court papers said Brockman also told agents that he really wanted to harm the president and wanted the government to legalize marijuana and spend money on education and domestic programs.

Oh I see. He’s another one of those people who don’t think Obama is left enough. But something tells me that maybe Brockman is getting hold of some of the weed he so loves in the pen. Which is pretty disgusting when you realize how the weed is smuggled in.

You think when Brockman gets sober he’ll look back on this and laugh … while spending the rest of his life in prison?

Comments

6 Responses to “Victimless Crime File: Pot Legalization Advocate Wants to Kill and Eat Barack Obama”

  1. lolcat on December 26th, 2010 8:41 pm

    The more I read your “articles”, and I use the term loosely because none of your articles are based on facts, the more I believe you’re mentally retarded. What the hell does pot legalization have to do with anything this guy has been put in jail for, and more importantly why is it in the headline? The guy is in jail for burglary and a previous threat against GWB. You make me sad to be from SC. I sincerely hope you don’t get paid for anything you post on this site.

  2. Rob Taylor on December 26th, 2010 8:55 pm

    Oh then you’ll be unhappy to know I do get paid per article on Newsreal Blog (my new piece is going up tomorrow) and that Greenville Dragnet has been doing fairly well on the adsense and Amazon sales.

    However here I don’t write articles, I write blog posts (but since you’re uneducated I won’t explain the difference) but the pieces I have up on Newsreal are articles. Hope that’s not to complicated for an overage stoner.

    By the way, an adult using the handle “lolcat” and calling others retarded is actual irony, unlike the skinny jeans you wear or drinking Pabst.

  3. Loup Garou on December 27th, 2010 2:38 pm

    the more I read your “articles” the more I’m warmed up by the loving glow of sarcasm. pour a little Pabst on the ground for our fallen homies, and keep up the good work! lol cat… lol indeed.

  4. Rob Taylor on December 27th, 2010 3:33 pm

    Pour some Pabst! We’re two of a kind Loup Garou.

  5. DodiaFae on December 28th, 2010 12:39 pm

    Oh my Lord…
    Sounds like this guy was looking for a reason to stay behind bars. I mean, anyone who actually wants to get out of prison wouldn’t hand a note like that to their shrink.

    Um… lolcat… the guy wants the government to legalize pot. It was in the article Rob cited, so is therefore fair game for his blog, especially since he’s been pointing out for quite some time that pot f***s with your brain.

  6. Ajax the Great on January 4th, 2011 12:27 am

    There you go again, Rob. Correlation (a very loose one at that) does not equal causation, as you are apparently suggesting. This belongs in the Rotten Reporting category. LOL! Well, I also believe that cannabis should be legalized and I oppose both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and the resulting waste of money, yet for some reason I never had the desire to kill or rape anyone, let alone cannibalize them. Not even Dubya or Darth Cheney, despite my loathing of the pair. Not even as a result of the munchies, as your little joke in the opening sentence of the article seems to imply.

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