Virus Spread by People Being Dirty Scumbags Spreading Through Upstate

Norovirus is pretty much spread by people preparing your food with their hands covered in feces. That’s why I only go to certain restaurants (John’s, Handi) and don’t shake hands with any dirty hippies from Coffee Underground. The report starts out telling you the virus lurks everywhere but the truth is it’s spread by filthy scumbags who don’t wash their hands right.

Who would have thought the local news would have to have segments on proper hand washing? Thanks teacher’s unions!

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